Triggered:  Understanding Warning Signs of PTSD

By Anna Raab, Abundant Living Neurofeedback and Counseling

“I’m so triggered!” is a statement I started hearing my teenagers say a couple years ago, usually in a joking manner.  However, PTSD is no laughing matter and affects many people who aren’t even aware that their symptoms are trauma related.  In addition, many people do not know that the onset of PTSD can occur within a few months or even years after a traumatic event, which can make it very difficult for individuals to pinpoint.

As a result, patients may present with severe anxiety, depression, attention or sleep issues and not even relate these issues to the original trauma.  I have had many patients present with these types of issues only to discover that they are actually part of a syndrome perpetuated by a traumatic, or series of traumatic events.

Traumatic events that lead to PTSD are typically events that instill a sense of intense fear, helplessness, or terror.  Moreover, PTSD can be caused by witnessing such an event happening to another person and in some cases simply by hearing about such an event occurring.  In the context of our modern world, with endless news about violence and murder, I believe this is a more widespread problem than has been previously understood.

I have treated many patients who were first hand victims, but I have also treated multiple people who developed PTSD by merely being exposed to the knowledge of trauma.  Not surprisingly, none of the individuals were aware of the root cause until we began to track the onset of traumatic symptoms and frequent triggers.

So, what are the symptoms of PTSD?  Many of the symptoms may be surprising and seemingly unrelated.   You or a loved one may be affected and unaware.  For instance, physical pain can be a symptom of PTSD.  Headaches, digestive Issues, physical pain and a weakened immune system can all be warning signs.  More common are issues of hyper-arousal, which include insomnia, edginess, being easily startled, panic attacks, or generally finding it impossible to relax. Having excessive emotions, angry, irritable outbursts, or being emotionally shut down are also symptomatic.

Some people may begin to avoid any semblance of places or people who consciously or subconsciously remind them of trauma.  They may have generalized anxiety, depression or guilt that do not seem to connect to their actual life. Others may have overwhelming obsessive thoughts, not only of trauma happening to them but even seeing themselves become perpetrators of things they’ve seen or witnessed.

Memory problems are extremely common, not only having gaps in memory but developing general, wide-spread memory lapses.  Many of these symptoms can lead to severe attention deficits that are often misdiagnosed.  Sadly, some people turn to addictive behaviors to try to self-regulate and may find themselves completely out of control.

If you recognize yourself or a loved one in this article, please reach out.  I have helped so many people who have become captive to a traumatized brain. You don’t have to be captive any longer.

The Anxiety Epidemic: The Syndrome of Uncertainty

World renowned life coach Tony Robbins believes that the need for certainty is our number one human need.  “Certainty is our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next.”  I found it very interesting that certainty is the antonym of anxiety, along with words like assurance, security, trust, and peace.

On the other hand, synonymous with anxiety is uncertainty, distress, nervousness, and restlessness.  Although he also lists uncertainty as a human need in its own right, I thought it noteworthy to correlate our need for certainty with an ever-growing epidemic of anxiety in a world of ever-increasing uncertainty.

With this said, over 18% of the population is in fact suffering from an anxiety disorder at any given time, with twice as many women affected as men, it is the most common mental illness.  And, although it is highly treatable, the vast majority of sufferers never seek professional help.

My desire in writing this article is to help you identify if you or someone you know may be suffering from an anxiety disorder that may be presenting in one or more of the following ways:

Most commonly, we associate anxiety disorders with excessive worry or fear.  In many cases these issues present at face value in the form of panic attacks or even flash backs of fearful events. These types of issues are definitely the most common and easy to identify, but even worry and fear can present in ways that one may not readily view as anxiety.

For instance, many of my clients present with irrational fears.  They may not even see themselves as anxious individuals but may suffer terribly from irrational thoughts that over which they seemingly have no control.

Often, we find these irrational fears are in fact a flair, of sorts, of an underlying anxiety that has formed itself around an available object or idea.  Compulsive behaviors are closely related, as they can irrationally center around an object or idea that is merely a projection of the underlying anxiety. Another example of anxiety’s expression is self-doubt.

When I have clients, who are constantly distracted by what others are thinking about them or their abilities, they may not automatically attribute this to anxiety but it is in fact the fear of what other people think or perceive that has nestled in as the over-arching ache of social anxiety.  In addition, clients may feel restless, edgy, or irritable.

These are not common descriptors for what one may call anxious, but at times can serve as the number one indicator of anxiety in some individuals.  Still others may even present with difficulty concentrating or simply blanking out and wrongly believe they are having issues with attention or cognition, when in reality their mind is so overwhelmed they are losing the ability to concentrate in leu of the noise.

Other manifestations that can be evidence of anxiety disorders are largely physical.  Sleep disorders, excessive muscle tension, chronic indigestion and stomach issues, along with physical pain and fatigue may all signal anxiety is at work.  Many individuals are merely treating the physical symptoms all while missing the underlying cause.

The great news is that there is hope for healing. At Abundant Living we have consistently helped individuals escape the epidemic and find a more joyful and contented life.  If you or someone you know is suffering, don’t become a statistic.  Reach out and let us take you by the hand.

The wonderful news is, however, that there is help!

Depression

By Anna R. Raab, M.A., BCN
Owner and Director of Abundant Living Neurofeedback and Counseling

Depression can be very misunderstood and even difficult to diagnose.  We’ve all seen the commercials of someone sitting on the side of their bed, crying, unable to start their day and in pain… but that represents a more extreme form of clinical depression.  Many people, however, function with depression every day- almost 7 percent of adults in America at any given time.

They aren’t all sitting on the side of their bed crying.  Many are sitting in the cubicle next you, sitting across the room at the coffee shop, sitting with their kids at the park, oftentimes looking and acting perfectly normal. It’s what’s going on in the inside that you can’t see, and sometimes they don’t even realize it themselves.

When I describe depression to my clients I commonly compare it to having a negative filter.  It’s like there is a funnel and all your thoughts pass through that funnel and come out with less color, less excitement, less optimism, and in more severe cases they come out covered in darkness and hopelessness.  It’s like there is a dial in your brain and the volume to pleasure is simply turned down.

So, what can this look like? Let me help you by guiding you through some food for thought on the subject.  And don’t worry, if you find yourself or someone you love in these descriptions there is help.

If you think you or someone you love may be suffering from depression, here’s a check list of sorts:

1. You might notice that the things you used to get excited about just don’t seem interesting anymore.  You don’t really feel like going out with friends or interacting with people the way you used to.  If you do, you may feel like you have to work really hard in order to fake your way through much of the interactions in order to hide your actual lack of interest.

2. Depression may look like exhaustion.  You may get plenty of sleep, even too much, but you don’t ever feel rested or energized (other physical issues might explain this also so be sure to get checked out by your doctor as well).  You may also be exhausted and not be able to sleep much at all.

3. You may be overrun by pervasive thoughts of negativity.  Often, these thoughts are turned on yourself.  You may be feeling really self-critical and down on yourself most of the time, like nothing you do is ever good enough.  You may also be turning this negativity onto the people close to you.  You may assume negative intentions or motivations in others where there may actually be none at all.  As a result, you may find yourself getting angry and frustrated quite easily and increasingly hard to please.

4.  Depression can look like brain fog.  You may be asking yourself if you’ve suddenly developed ADD.  Unlike your usual self, you may be unable to finish projects, make a simple grocery list, or focus at work.  The world may seem like it’s swirling around you in what appears to be a fog you can’t seem to quite cut through.

5.  Finally, depression can look like exactly like the depictions in that commercial.  You may not be able to get out of bed easily or at all, you may be sad and crying over things that shouldn’t be so heavy, or worst of all you may feel totally hopeless.

You may even be considering ending your pain through suicide or fantasizing about what a relief it would be to simply not exist any longer. If this is the case, you need to reach out for help immediately and consider checking yourself into a trusted institution until you know you are safe from thoughts of self-harm.

If you’ve found yourself in this article, please call me for a free consultation.  Not only can I help validate your condition, I can help heal it.  Please reach out.  My personal number is 918-853-7793.

What a Narcissist!

By Anna Raab, M.A. Counseling, BCN

In an age of ever-increasing drama and selfie centered lives, the word Narcissist is being heavily thrown around! But what is a Narcissist, really? Is every person with an inflated ego or posting a few too many selfies a Narcissist? No, they aren’t. Yes, some people with these traits may have narcissistic tendencies, but a person with true Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a different animal altogether.

I’ve chosen to write on this subject not only because of some of the over-use of the term, but also because there may be someone reading this who really needs to know if their loved one suffers from this  (I would say they or their loved one but it’s doubtful a true Narcissist would ask themselves such an honest, insightful question).

True Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by very predictable characteristics, behavior patterns, and background.  In my experience most people with NPD were raised in an environment where healthy ego development did not or could not occur, often because of recurring trauma. Because of their lack of healthy ego identity being formed, individuals with NPD actually have extremely fragile egos for which they are in constant need of garnishing what we call supply.

Supply is anything which gives the NPD individual a sense of being superior or more powerful than those around them.  Ironically, they are typically very outgoing, charismatic, likable, and even witty, but their jokes will often turn on you and you will find yourself being laughed at instead of laughed with. They may say very hurtful things and say they are just kidding, or they may gaslight you altogether.

Gaslighting is when someone with NPD deflects any attempt to communicate your pain with them by flat out denying the event happened, twisting the event, or figuring out how to blame you for their actions or simply firing off a dart that has nothing to do with your plea for communication or sympathy.  Gaslighting is the Narcissist’s go-to for protecting their wounded ego.

Because they cannot handle the thought of being wrong or questioned, they must retaliate by gaslighting you to protect the very fragile ego inside.  Narcissists will rarely apologize, or if they do you will find it is to keep you in their good graces as they are inevitably getting something from you that they need.

They are notoriously entitled and often expect to be treated in ways which they have not earned or deserve, many times expecting material endowments they have no real entitlement to but have no issues whatsoever receiving.

People with NPD thrive on making others feel small while inflating themselves. They will often lie or exaggerate the truth in order to secure their position in social first place.  You will often hear them making judgmental statements or making caustic remarks about others with no awareness of how cold, mean, or cruel they may be, and sometimes very subtly or covertly.

You see, those with NPD do not and often cannot feel empathy or compassion.  Interestingly, they may be able to mimic it or fake it very well, but it does not come from the heart and when backed in a corner their true motives will be unveiled, and oftentimes it is these individuals who get caught in very telling actions or lies that eventually they may not be able to escape.  At this point they will typically discard the individual or group and move to another place where they can practice their schemes once again.

My interest in writing about this subject is the very high chance that someone reading may have been or is deeply affected by a Narcissistic person.  Oftentimes, it is the most caring and empathic people who are preyed upon because they are most susceptible to being manipulated or give the NPD individual too much grace.

Grace is good, but giving grace to the NPD individual will be a black hole of never-ending investment into their wounded inner world, leaving the loved one feeling like nothing is ever good enough to earn their approval, or feeling like their feelings are never going to matter… because they won’t.  If you are suffering from an NPD relationship, please reach out for help and support.  There are people who truly care very deeply and want to help.

If you live in the Tulsa, OK, area and are interested in learning how neurofeedback can help a loved one with narcissism, click here.

The Perfect Storm of Pain

By Anna Raab, M.A. Counseling, BCN

A few months ago, I wrote an article called Transcending Fear.  The quarantine had just begun, unknowns, fears, and shutdowns were paralyzing to many.  In the article I wrote about how we would ultimately have two choices as to how to respond.  Would we be better or broken; would we transcend fear and build on our human ability to love, or would we give way to the animalistic instincts of fear, fight, or flight.

I had no idea when I wrote that what else we would soon face as a nation. I had no idea that not only would we potentially turn on each other out of fear and pressure of the unknown, but that the pandemic would become the perfect storm of pain which would rattle our country to its very core.

It’s as though we were ripe and ready in a hotbed of unknowns, stress, and isolation.  So that in that hot bed, embers started to surface, vigilance was riding high, infections were coming to the surface…and the worst came out in us as the gasoline of fear and strife turned embers into a raging forest fire of pain and traumatic responses.

And here we are.  A nation divided on so many levels.  Issues that have been in the healing process have been ripped open and I fear we have been set back decades as a nation who stands for and has fought so hard for equality.  The fear response in our brain is activated by our instinct for survival.

If you read the article I mentioned, you may remember I stated we will have the choice to respond like animals in fight or flight, or like humans bridging the gap with love. Again, as humans we have the unique ability to choose love even when we are afraid, because “perfect love casts out fear.”

I have seen exceptions, however.  On a local level and personal level for sure I have seen churches and local leaders rise up and organize overwhelming aid and help.  Victory Christian Center has mobilized well over a million bags of food for local families, no questions asked. They were able to have drive in services where people could still assemble together and had testimonies of people deciding not to end their lives because they drove by and were drawn to the life and love there.

In all this I have experienced joys as I watch leaders rise up in love, yet I have also cried many tears as I have watched trauma and emotional responses rip through our country like a tornado.  I have wept for our country and for the division and strife, and I have prayed and prayed for healing and restoration to come.

One thing I know we can all agree on and has the ability to center and to heal us, is that we NEED each other and CONNECTION and MUTUAL RESPECT is essential for us to weather this storm together and truly come through with the spirit of Americans.

The absolute worst thing we can do is hide behind the news, gossip, and social media as though behind the wheel of our own private car honking and yelling for others to get out of the way and heed to our exclusive perceptions and desires.  Wisdom comes through a multitude of counsel, and if we can come to a place of peace and resolve to listen and to learn from our pain and our mistakes we can still heal, in time, we can still be better.

Individually, stay connected.   Seek out the faces who bring you love and joy, even if its Face Time or Zoom.  Send pictures and videos to love ones.  Post positive and loving videos on social media to remind us that we are in this together and ultimately love and respect will be our banner of recovery.

I know in this time there are many who are suffering greatly from isolation, fear, panic, and sadness.  If you need help, tell someone!  Do not suffer alone, do not let darkness take over, get help, reach out.  We are here and so are the many people who love you… some you may not even know. You are NOT alone!  You are loved.

Transcending Fear

By Anna Raab, M.A. Counseling, BCN

As I’m sitting here writing this article I am, like most of you, isolated and uncertain.

I am aware that this article will run in about 30 days, after the stay at home measures will likely be lessening, and we are slowly emerging back into a world that will be forever marked by suffering and loss.  Loss of life, loss of employment, loss of identity… it is not going to be easy.

I have considered deeply what to say… and the themes of love and fear keep circulating.

Fear is a gnawing foe at present.  Unknowns, uncertainty, insecurity… it’s all brewing.  In this pandemic fear is valid, it is normal, and it is real.

Sadly, however, fear can bring out the worst in people.  We hoard and we pit against each other looking for someone to blame or someone to shame. Social media demonstrates these fault lines of instability through an ever-increasing discord and divisiveness which is deeply troubling.

The fear is real, it is founded, and it is a normal human reaction to stress and uncertainty.  In our brain it is meant to keep us alive, yet it can bring out our most animalistic instincts, as I mentioned… less than human; less than kind.

So where will we be in 30 days?  Will we be better, or broken?  I personally fear the loss of life through mental illness or suicide could parallel the virus itself.  Fear and stress are mounting daily.

The message I long to share today, but will be no less pertinent in 30 days, is hold onto your humanity.

This virus has leveled the playing field.  Each of us is undeniably human at present.  So, what part of our humanity will arise?

The thing that makes us uniquely human is our ability to not respond to fear as an instinct but to rise above it as a response.  Do not react, respond.

Our ability to rise above fear I believe is founded in our ability to transcend to love instead.  In a fearful situation, we as humans can choose to love.  We can choose to lay our lives down for our friends.  We choose to stay home and stay safe as we rally those who cannot. We can choose to reach out instead of reach in.  We can choose to tune into friends in need financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  We can use this time to love and lend a hand.  We can be the stability we seek.

My prayer is that we emerge out of this time of stillness enlightened. May we be reminded of what we have that cannot be measured, as we are dealing with the loss of what can be measured being taken away.

What cannot be measured, what cannot be taken away is love.  And how beautiful is it that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).

The poet Rumi said, “Love is the bridge between you and everything.” As we sit in isolation may we remember love is our highest good and may we grow together in spirit and not be torn apart.

In our fear, may we find that love is our human ability to rise above the storm.  If we grow in love, we will not have lost.

If you are struggling beyond the point of being able to choose your response, please reach out.  If you cannot find your footing in love, we are here, and so are many others who want to listen and be a hand.  Put yourself in the way of love.  Please don’t suffer alone.  Anxiety, Depression, Panic, and family strife will likely come to an all time high for many.  Let us find our strength in leaning in.  Let us transcend through love and leverage the best of our humanity in order to respond and not react.

Much love and concern from my family to yours.

ADHD

By Anna Raab, M.A. Counseling, BCN

New Year’s Resolution: FOCUS. GET ORGANIZED. FINISH PROJECTS. MASTER TO-DO LISTS. LISTEN BETTER…

“BUT I JUST CAN’T!!!  EVERY YEAR I FAIL… I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAILURE.  I KNOW I’M SMART; I HAVE THE IDEAS AND THE KNOW-HOW… I JUST CAN’T FULFILL MY POTENTIAL!!”

IF THIS IS YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE, KEEP READING!!!!

There is a REASON you struggle.  It’s not because you are lazy, unintelligent, or not capable.  I have treated so many extremely intelligent people who have carried the burden of ATTENTION ISSUES for years.  Most often, the burden of carrying the extra struggle, no matter how accomplished they are, has also led to a certain amount of depression or anxiety, which is usually what brings them to my office.  After doing an electrical reading of their brain we find the foundational issue is actually a traffic jam of brain wave activity.  The frontal lobe is full of excessive slow wave activity and often not enough of the fast processing waves.

The frontal lobe is responsible for our higher executive function, and when there is a traffic problem with brain wave activity not flowing as it should, untold frustrations can arise.  Attention, decision making, problem solving, memory, social awareness, motivation, planning, judgement, emotions, empathy, time management, and more can all be a huge struggle.  And it can have NOTHING to do with your desire to be better… it is a REAL issue.

I have seen so many people of all ages who have struggled with this invisible giant their whole lives, and then slowly but surely, they begin to feel their lives have become unmanageable.  Relationships have suffered, attempts at higher education have suffered or failed all together, they have stress disorders, they have emotional control issues… life is just so much harder than it needs to be, but it’s all they’ve ever known.

And, it’s not just adults.  Very often anxiety and depression are the presenting issues for children also.  Because these struggles can be masked by high intelligence and good coping skills it is not unusual for them to fly under the radar undetected.

Even if these issues have been identified and medications are employed, patients are often riddled with side effects and the aid of medication may only be enough to make the limp a little less apparent.  There’s nothing wrong with turning to medications for help, but often patients are left wanting and still feeling very incomplete.

Anyone can miss it.  I missed it myself in one of my own children.  It wasn’t until they had a traumatic accident that I began to do extensive work in their frontal lobe to help with the trauma and anxiety that ensued.  In doing so, I treated their attention disorder that I had not even detected.  They were always in the middle ground (but not loving) school, adored by teachers, happy at home… just a normal, delightful, energetic child.  However, the semester I treated them they went from average to outstanding in school.  I’m so thankful to say that as a result I had them tested last year and they are now in the gifted and talented class with all A’s, loving school.  Potential unveiled!

This may describe you or your loved one.  Does life seem harder than it should be?  Maybe it is.

If you live in the Tulsa, OK, area and are interested in learning how neurofeedback can help a loved one with ADD or ADHD, click here.