The Anxiety Epidemic: The Syndrome of Uncertainty

World renowned life coach Tony Robbins believes that the need for certainty is our number one human need.  “Certainty is our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next.”  I found it very interesting that certainty is the antonym of anxiety, along with words like assurance, security, trust, and peace.

On the other hand, synonymous with anxiety is uncertainty, distress, nervousness, and restlessness.  Although he also lists uncertainty as a human need in its own right, I thought it noteworthy to correlate our need for certainty with an ever-growing epidemic of anxiety in a world of ever-increasing uncertainty.

With this said, over 18% of the population is in fact suffering from an anxiety disorder at any given time, with twice as many women affected as men, it is the most common mental illness.  And, although it is highly treatable, the vast majority of sufferers never seek professional help.

My desire in writing this article is to help you identify if you or someone you know may be suffering from an anxiety disorder that may be presenting in one or more of the following ways:

Most commonly, we associate anxiety disorders with excessive worry or fear.  In many cases these issues present at face value in the form of panic attacks or even flash backs of fearful events. These types of issues are definitely the most common and easy to identify, but even worry and fear can present in ways that one may not readily view as anxiety.

For instance, many of my clients present with irrational fears.  They may not even see themselves as anxious individuals but may suffer terribly from irrational thoughts that over which they seemingly have no control.

Often, we find these irrational fears are in fact a flair, of sorts, of an underlying anxiety that has formed itself around an available object or idea.  Compulsive behaviors are closely related, as they can irrationally center around an object or idea that is merely a projection of the underlying anxiety. Another example of anxiety’s expression is self-doubt.

When I have clients, who are constantly distracted by what others are thinking about them or their abilities, they may not automatically attribute this to anxiety but it is in fact the fear of what other people think or perceive that has nestled in as the over-arching ache of social anxiety.  In addition, clients may feel restless, edgy, or irritable.

These are not common descriptors for what one may call anxious, but at times can serve as the number one indicator of anxiety in some individuals.  Still others may even present with difficulty concentrating or simply blanking out and wrongly believe they are having issues with attention or cognition, when in reality their mind is so overwhelmed they are losing the ability to concentrate in leu of the noise.

Other manifestations that can be evidence of anxiety disorders are largely physical.  Sleep disorders, excessive muscle tension, chronic indigestion and stomach issues, along with physical pain and fatigue may all signal anxiety is at work.  Many individuals are merely treating the physical symptoms all while missing the underlying cause.

The great news is that there is hope for healing. At Abundant Living we have consistently helped individuals escape the epidemic and find a more joyful and contented life.  If you or someone you know is suffering, don’t become a statistic.  Reach out and let us take you by the hand.

The wonderful news is, however, that there is help!

The Perfect Storm of Pain

By Anna Raab, M.A. Counseling, BCN

A few months ago, I wrote an article called Transcending Fear.  The quarantine had just begun, unknowns, fears, and shutdowns were paralyzing to many.  In the article I wrote about how we would ultimately have two choices as to how to respond.  Would we be better or broken; would we transcend fear and build on our human ability to love, or would we give way to the animalistic instincts of fear, fight, or flight.

I had no idea when I wrote that what else we would soon face as a nation. I had no idea that not only would we potentially turn on each other out of fear and pressure of the unknown, but that the pandemic would become the perfect storm of pain which would rattle our country to its very core.

It’s as though we were ripe and ready in a hotbed of unknowns, stress, and isolation.  So that in that hot bed, embers started to surface, vigilance was riding high, infections were coming to the surface…and the worst came out in us as the gasoline of fear and strife turned embers into a raging forest fire of pain and traumatic responses.

And here we are.  A nation divided on so many levels.  Issues that have been in the healing process have been ripped open and I fear we have been set back decades as a nation who stands for and has fought so hard for equality.  The fear response in our brain is activated by our instinct for survival.

If you read the article I mentioned, you may remember I stated we will have the choice to respond like animals in fight or flight, or like humans bridging the gap with love. Again, as humans we have the unique ability to choose love even when we are afraid, because “perfect love casts out fear.”

I have seen exceptions, however.  On a local level and personal level for sure I have seen churches and local leaders rise up and organize overwhelming aid and help.  Victory Christian Center has mobilized well over a million bags of food for local families, no questions asked. They were able to have drive in services where people could still assemble together and had testimonies of people deciding not to end their lives because they drove by and were drawn to the life and love there.

In all this I have experienced joys as I watch leaders rise up in love, yet I have also cried many tears as I have watched trauma and emotional responses rip through our country like a tornado.  I have wept for our country and for the division and strife, and I have prayed and prayed for healing and restoration to come.

One thing I know we can all agree on and has the ability to center and to heal us, is that we NEED each other and CONNECTION and MUTUAL RESPECT is essential for us to weather this storm together and truly come through with the spirit of Americans.

The absolute worst thing we can do is hide behind the news, gossip, and social media as though behind the wheel of our own private car honking and yelling for others to get out of the way and heed to our exclusive perceptions and desires.  Wisdom comes through a multitude of counsel, and if we can come to a place of peace and resolve to listen and to learn from our pain and our mistakes we can still heal, in time, we can still be better.

Individually, stay connected.   Seek out the faces who bring you love and joy, even if its Face Time or Zoom.  Send pictures and videos to love ones.  Post positive and loving videos on social media to remind us that we are in this together and ultimately love and respect will be our banner of recovery.

I know in this time there are many who are suffering greatly from isolation, fear, panic, and sadness.  If you need help, tell someone!  Do not suffer alone, do not let darkness take over, get help, reach out.  We are here and so are the many people who love you… some you may not even know. You are NOT alone!  You are loved.

Transcending Fear

By Anna Raab, M.A. Counseling, BCN

As I’m sitting here writing this article I am, like most of you, isolated and uncertain.

I am aware that this article will run in about 30 days, after the stay at home measures will likely be lessening, and we are slowly emerging back into a world that will be forever marked by suffering and loss.  Loss of life, loss of employment, loss of identity… it is not going to be easy.

I have considered deeply what to say… and the themes of love and fear keep circulating.

Fear is a gnawing foe at present.  Unknowns, uncertainty, insecurity… it’s all brewing.  In this pandemic fear is valid, it is normal, and it is real.

Sadly, however, fear can bring out the worst in people.  We hoard and we pit against each other looking for someone to blame or someone to shame. Social media demonstrates these fault lines of instability through an ever-increasing discord and divisiveness which is deeply troubling.

The fear is real, it is founded, and it is a normal human reaction to stress and uncertainty.  In our brain it is meant to keep us alive, yet it can bring out our most animalistic instincts, as I mentioned… less than human; less than kind.

So where will we be in 30 days?  Will we be better, or broken?  I personally fear the loss of life through mental illness or suicide could parallel the virus itself.  Fear and stress are mounting daily.

The message I long to share today, but will be no less pertinent in 30 days, is hold onto your humanity.

This virus has leveled the playing field.  Each of us is undeniably human at present.  So, what part of our humanity will arise?

The thing that makes us uniquely human is our ability to not respond to fear as an instinct but to rise above it as a response.  Do not react, respond.

Our ability to rise above fear I believe is founded in our ability to transcend to love instead.  In a fearful situation, we as humans can choose to love.  We can choose to lay our lives down for our friends.  We choose to stay home and stay safe as we rally those who cannot. We can choose to reach out instead of reach in.  We can choose to tune into friends in need financially, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  We can use this time to love and lend a hand.  We can be the stability we seek.

My prayer is that we emerge out of this time of stillness enlightened. May we be reminded of what we have that cannot be measured, as we are dealing with the loss of what can be measured being taken away.

What cannot be measured, what cannot be taken away is love.  And how beautiful is it that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).

The poet Rumi said, “Love is the bridge between you and everything.” As we sit in isolation may we remember love is our highest good and may we grow together in spirit and not be torn apart.

In our fear, may we find that love is our human ability to rise above the storm.  If we grow in love, we will not have lost.

If you are struggling beyond the point of being able to choose your response, please reach out.  If you cannot find your footing in love, we are here, and so are many others who want to listen and be a hand.  Put yourself in the way of love.  Please don’t suffer alone.  Anxiety, Depression, Panic, and family strife will likely come to an all time high for many.  Let us find our strength in leaning in.  Let us transcend through love and leverage the best of our humanity in order to respond and not react.

Much love and concern from my family to yours.

Grief: When the Unthinkable Happens

By Anna Raab, M.A., BCN, Abundant Living Neurofeedback and Counseling

This article is dedicated to the victims and survivors of the recent I-35 tragedy.

I write this with tears and a pure heart hoping to say something that will help give words of comfort to anyone who has or is experiencing the unthinkable.   I am a 41-year-old mother of a blended family with 5 children.  I drive a seven seat SUV that is constantly full of children.  When I told my husband about the tragedy on I 35 he immediately got sick.  It could have been us.  It is a nightmare beyond nightmares.  It is beyond comprehension, so it is with deep respect and overwhelming empathy that I write and dedicate this article to those personally affected by this tragedy.

As I have prayerfully considered what to say, my friend Karen recently posted about the grief of her father’s loss.  It resonated so powerfully that I asked permission to quote her.

I remember crying until I was physically sick.  Feeling like my heart was going to burst out of my chest… hoping it would so I could just get the indescribable pain out of me.  And anger… much of it misplaced.  In the blurry days that followed, I so often wanted to scream, ‘YOU DON’T KNOW HOW THIS FEELS, QUIT TRYING TO COMFORT ME,’ even though I deeply needed every single word of comfort I received.  I didn’t think I would ever stop feeling anything other than mind-numbing pain.  And here’s the thing, the pain didn’t stop. I got stronger.  I learned to cope.  This is what I now know to be true:  You have to open yourself up to the people who refuse to let the darkness consume you.

Karen, thank you for your vulnerability and honesty.  The truth is, the pain never stops with losses like these, it only gets bearable as we allow others to love us and help carry our pain.

When the wounds of tragedy are so fresh and deep for those we love, we fear saying anything and yet, we fear saying nothing at all.  When the unthinkable happens, we desperately want to help but often worry about doing or saying the wrong thing.  However, in times like these people desperately need to know that we care, even though they may also feel that no one could ever care enough; no one could possibly understand their grief and unrelenting pain.  In many cases they are right, especially in cases like these. All we can do is love unconditionally, without questions, without expectations, and long past the aftermath.

If you are one of those personally affected by this recent tragedy, please know you are loved beyond what you could ever know. Thousands who you will never meet have wept with you.  Our hearts break with you and we pray for peace that surpasses knowledge to consume you as you grieve.  We hold our own closer and love deeper in honor of you.

For help finding grief assistance in your area please call 918-933-4455.